Why Sex Can Boost Your Luck

Published at the Libertines Pub, Hong Kong

I, as a woman, always believe women should be protected from violence, rape and abuse. They must know to protect themselves because their body is so hot that their male counterparts fantasize about access to it every 5 seconds. Life is too short to entertain all the lonely, bored and inadequate dicks in the world. We should save it for someone who’s not only after one thing, or who’s after one thing but too hot / too cute / too rich to resist. Right? (Provided that you are a well-informed adult and take safety precautions of course. Disclaimer in place.)

However, whenever I read news about some claimed-to-be rape / indecent assault cases, I was as perplexed by the story lines as by the Universe. You left your hubby at home, drank at a hotel bar alone, made out with a horse trainer you just met in your car, decided you were not up for further encounter, then accused the trainer of assaulting you? What reasonale you can put up except you can’t bear yourself to be fondled without spiritual love? You agreed to be driven home by a medical school alumnus you just met at a party, stayed the night at his place and the next morning you accused the guy of raping you? Being shocked to find you can be seduced by a non-boyfriend/husband/Brad Pitt material overnight, or you can have sex but not make love, doesn’t mean you did not consent. Simple logic.

Recently, the case of a teen model being tricked to have sex “rituals” nine times by a Taoist Mao Shan master put me to further wonder.
As a member of the Smarter Sex, I’m oh so unwilling to admit we can be this stupid to agree to have unprotected sex with an ugly guy thrice our age. Not to mention there are no 1000 thread count bedding and erotic candles, but probably cartoon-print bed sheets and smelly incense. Yikes.

As a result, I would like to adopt a more emphatic approach to deduce why some women fall prey to such mysterious trick, which I believe, had happened and will happen again and again.

The most probable reason is that some women, especially those aspiring to be models, tried and it worked. Others are convinced as a result. From the papers we knew the Mao Shan master was recommended to the victim by her friend. Doesn’t it tell us something? Maybe it’s not a trick at all. Maybe it’s a secret truth that yearns to be tested and proved.

Which leads to my conclusion, if my reasoning finds me right:

Sex does bring you luck.

Because:

* It releases the “feel-good hormone” endorphin, which gives you a positive outlook on every aspect of your life. Positive attitude attracts positive luck.

* It gives you an afterglow, and glowing skin is essential for modeling career.

* It may boost your pheromone production, which draws you a large fan base.

* It is a nice workout session for all your sexy assets. We all sell sex in some way, don’t we?

* It teaches us what works on our bosses (i.e. our beloved males) and what doesn’t, so that we can suck their purse with all our might.


Once we grab this simple fact, we are free to choose anyone to share this dose of luck. So why bother to pay some old baldy to do the job?

I’m going to grab someone for some fortune making tonight. May fortune be with you in CNY. Muah*